Episode 74 – How to add more self-confidence to your life!
When it comes to self-confidence, there are a lot of small action steps you can take to truly transform the way you go about your day. Self-confidence affects your everyday activities from asking for a pay rise, asking someone out on a date, standing up for yourself and truly getting ahead in life. Breaking new habits into small steps, will allow you to pick and choose which actions you’ll implement into your day, so that you don’t become overwhelmed. And remember-knowing is one thing, but doing is another!
Use positive words in your life
You may not realise it, but you might be using negative words or negative connotations. This can be both in conversation with others, but also negative inner chatter. Words have an incredibly powerful effect on the energy you vibrate. If you thought about the last time you were in a bad mood, you probably can recall that you just seemed to attract even more bad situations or negative people into your life. That’s because you’re an energy match to them!
Without getting too Zen on you, we’re all made up of energy. You’ve probably heard about the works of Dr Masaru Emoto and his experiments, observing formations of different crystals in water. After showing various words, playing different music or prayer, he found the crystals would form in either beautiful shapes from positive energy or in a terrible mess from destructive energy.
This experiment shocked the world and proved a lot about the difference in energy vibration! So the next time you catch yourself using negative words, use a little punishment system much like a swear jar, or find a way to wind yourself out of this bad habit. Some great reads on energy attraction are:
- Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
- The Master Key System by Charles Haanel
Make a strengths list
Throughout your life experience, you know what strengths stand out more than others. So why not write down all the things you’re good at to boost your self-confidence! Once you’ve finished the list (and it will probably end up longer than you think) make a habit to look at that list every day. This will train your sub-conscious and in turn your self-confidence will rise.
Sometimes we dwell too much on our weaknesses and it can really affect our self-esteem. Society can place a lot of pressure on us to live or act in a certain way, or degrade us when we don’t achieve something. We all however have the choice to live the way we want to. You can write down reassuring phrases like:
- People comment I’m really good at…
- I’m a great husband/wife because…
- I get a lot of compliments on…
Do what you love
If you’re good at something and you love it, then that’s going to really give your confidence a hit. That’s because you’ll feel purposeful, successful and happy with the path you have decided to walk. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, or limit yourself to finding your passion in your career. While it’s great to get paid for your passion, if there’s something you really love doing outside of the office, then your energy will spread over into the workplace and make you more productive anyway.
If you’re younger and don’t have much life experience, get out there and try new things to find out what you love! Say yes to more things, because you’ll never know if you never go!
Once you find that thing you’re passionate about, they’ll be no mistaking the feeling, as you’ll know in your heart that’s what you’re here to do. It’s a great idea to journal at the end of the day, recording what you loved the most about each day, then try and create and repeat more of the same feel good activities.
This ensures you’re doing more of what you love and what truly makes you happy. Once you set goals it gives you purpose and direction. This direction sets you down the right path and builds your self-confidence, because you’re able to set measures against those goals and see progress. Progress = confidence. Break goals down into actions and habits – these will be the stepping stones to your end goal.
It might sound simple but many of us surround ourselves in people or situations we don’t want to be in. Whether trying to please other people or feeling like you should do something just because it’s the easiest option. If you want to build self-confidence you need to remove stresses from your life and move away from the things you don’t like doing. These will only hold you back.
If there’s a negative or toxic person that is weighing you down, it’s OK to cut the friendship and move on. There’s no shortage of positive people on this planet to replace the negative energy that seems to engulf some people.
Would you consider yourself to be a hoarder? All the objects and clutter you surround yourself in, slowly eats away at your sub-conscious. Go through your wardrobe, spare rooms and cupboards and see what you can donate to charity or make some money having a garage sale. Your space is a reflection of your mind. It can be incredibly refreshing when you have a good spring clean and simplify your life.
Find the people that bring you up
One of the most important foundations for self-confidence is surrounding yourself in people that believe in you no matter what. They’re the friends or family that support you regardless of what path you choose in life, as all they care about is your ultimate happiness. You want to keep your loved ones close as they will encourage you when needed and help you to reach your goals. But don’t forget to give them love and support back! These are the people that will keep you accountable and always striving for the best.
Dress to impress
If you’re getting around in daggy clothes and you’re not feeling confident because of the way you dress, then you’re overdue for an upgrade. This doesn’t mean spending a fortune, but you do deserve to look and feel good. Even if you buy one new shirt a week and then give an old shirt to charity, you’ll feel much better in yourself. From time to time treat yourself to a haircut, massage or manicure. Self-love is one of the biggest boosters of self-confidence and you owe it to yourself!
Your body language tells a lot about the type of person you are. If you stand slumped over, shoulders hanging down and a rolled back, then you’re not showing much self-confidence. This is where faking it ’til you make it can come into play.
The most famous power poses are:
- Wonder women: This one is not just for the ladies! Stand tall with your hands on your hips, chin up, holding your chest proud for 2 minutes at home and feel the change in your energy.
- Victory pose: You know the image of the guy that just won the marathon in record timing? He crosses the finish line with his hands held high in the air and huge smile? Try holding this winning pose for 2 minutes in a private area just before a speech, job interview or anything that requires a hit of confidence.
- The boss: You probably wouldn’t try this on your first day at work, but try sitting back on your chair, with your hands behind your head, in an open posture which radiates confidence.
Stand up for yourself
When your self-confidence increases, you’ll find you’re able to stand up for yourself a lot more often. Your self-worth increases as you value your strong qualities and give yourself self-love. Standing your ground is a strong trait to possess as there’s nothing worse than being the one that everybody else walks all over. People will not bring you down like they perhaps used to.
Once you’ve taken action in the above tips, you will find you’ll believe in your ability to achieve anything you want in life. When you begin to only use positive words, recognize your top strengths, engage in more of what you love, learn the art of goal setting, surround yourself in positive people and environments, dress to impress and act confident, then you’ll be unstoppable in anything you want to achieve. You’ll stop giving energy to things that aren’t going to give energy back and no longer find yourself engaging with the haters.
You can listen to the audio link here
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- Haanel, C. (2007) The Master Key system. Tarcher-Penguin
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- Mumford, G. (2016) The Mindful Athlete: Secrets to Pure Performance. Parallax Press
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Chris Everingham lives and breathes health & fitness.
Chris Everingham lives and breathes health & fitness. International Athlete, Elite Performance Manager for the Philippine Volcanoes rugby teams, qualified Dietitian / Nutritionist and qualified educator. Chris Everingham combines more than 10 years of experience and education together to deliver the best strategies to grow your mindset, rewire your habits and transform your life.